There are days on NoFap that are painful and when these NoFap hardest days come around, you question why you’re even doing NoFap in the first place.
The worst part about these NoFap hard days is that they make you forget why you’re doing NoFap in the first place.
And it’s on days like these that you have urges to “take a peep,” “to edge yourself.”
On these days, you also hear a voice telling you that “nothing bad can happen,” that “you’re strong enough now to stop yourself right on the edge of a relapse.”
And before you know it, you’ve just relapsed and broken a hundred-day streak.
Although the days you experience as a hard day on your NoFap will be different from when the next guy will experience a hard day, these days tend to intercept for many PMO addicts on NoFap.
In light of this, I aim to generalize as much as I can in this post.
I aim to help you pinpoint when you’ll likely get these hard days and also help you prepare for these days, so they don’t ruin your NoFap streak.
What you will learn
The general structure of NoFap days
Most people on NoFap aim to do the hard mode or the normal mode of NoFap for 90 days.
So, let’s break these 90 days into a structured form;
The Honeymoon days: Day 1-2 of NoFap
These first two days of NoFap come with some benefits. Generally, these are the days you’ll have the most motivation to change your life with NoFap.
But don’t get fooled; you aren’t getting any real NoFap benefit yet.
It just feels like you are.
What you’re experiencing on these two days is simply the effects of not jerking off your semen for two days.
You’re only experiencing what it’s like not feel like shit—like you always feel every single day after you’ve drained yourself of your life force.
These “benefits” you’re getting on these days are basic. But that won’t stop you from feeling like you can go on NoFap forever.
You’ll feel like you have life all figured out from here on.
And amid your ego trip, you get hit with the reality of things on day 3.
The Intense Urge Days: Day 3-8 (NoFap Hardest Days I)
It’s on the third day that your brain realizes you’re trying to take porn away from it.
As your brain comes to this realization, it starts bringing out all the tools in its arsenal to stop you from achieving this dream of yours, called NoFap.
So, you start getting porn and masturbation urges. Real urges. Urges that’ll feel like you’re about to die if you don’t take a peep at porn.
It’s on these days you realize that NoFap is not as easy as you might have previously conceived.
It’s in between day three and eight that the average guy relapse on NoFap.
And to top it off, on these days, you get no NoFap benefits. None at all.
Instead, you get the withdrawal symptoms of quitting porn and masturbation in abundance.
This is the stage where you get tested the most by your brain.
Your NoFap success during this period will boil down to how much you want to complete NoFap.
What to do on the NoFap Hardest Days I? (Days 3-8)
There’s no subtle or pleasant way to get out of this first phase of NoFap difficult days.
This first difficult stage is you going to war with your brain. To put it more accurately, it’s you going to war with your porn brain.
You have to be vigilant. Because at the slightest hint of weakness on your side, your porn brain will take over.
So, you’ve got to muscle your way through it.
And to begin to muscle through, here are some handy tips;
Remind yourself how you felt three days ago when you decided to go on NoFap
Since it’s just a few days ago that you resolved to go an eternity on NoFap, there’s no harm in reminding yourself of why you started NoFap in the first place.
It’s essential to stop thinking about the NoFap benefits you’re not yet getting.
You should know that these benefits are to be earned.
The benefits of completing the NoFap challenge is futuristic.
And because it’s so far off in the future, your brain will discount these benefits in favor of the instant pleasure you’ll get if you take a peep at porn (or masturbate).
So, you can’t rely on the motivation you’ll get from thinking of NoFap benefits.
One thing you can count on is that pain is an excellent motivator for most of us.
Because the feeling of pain can be instant, you can bring it to the frame of your mind right now!
So, instead of thinking about the benefits of succeeding, think about the pain of failing.
Remind yourself of that rock-bottom feeling you had three days ago that prompted you to take action in the first place.
Keep yourself busy
It would be best if you took control of your mind during these days.
And the best way to take control of your mind is to distract it.
Because if I were to tell you to stop thinking about porn during these days, all you’ll think about is porn.
To stop thinking about porn, you need to give your mind something else to think about.
Doing engaging activities like cooking, reading, bungee jumping (if you’re into that sort of thing) can keep your mind busy and distracted from porn.
But don’t be fooled into thinking that the ability to keep one’s mind distracted is a straight-forward science.
Because you can be doing a non-porn related activity—like playing the guitar—and still be thinking about porn.
Remember that porn was what your mind used to go to for fun over the years.
The key to keeping your mind distracted from porn is to be mindful of whatever it is you’re doing at the moment.
Whatever you’re doing during these days, bring awareness of doing that particular thing in that present moment.
Awareness is key!!
Meditate
Speaking of building up your awareness muscles on these difficult days of NoFap, meditation can come to your rescue.
A constant mindfulness meditation practice can help you cultivate the art of being aware in the present moment.
Hit the Gym
Staying physical is crucial during this time.
You need to expend/transmute the sexual energy that’ll build up during these early days of NoFap.
And one of the best ways to expend this built-up energy is to do regular (intense) exercise.
If you register at a gym, you have the added advantage of getting out of your house. And this will help you avoid the usual porn triggers in your home.
Plus, if you’ve had a good workout session at the gym, when you get back home, porn will be the last thing on your mind—amidst the muscle aches and the joint pains.
Do away with feminine energy during this time
Between days three and eight of NoFap, you start getting sexually charged.
What this means is that your masculine energy starts building up.
It’s only natural for you to want to chase feminine energy because of your built-up masculine energy.
But, it’ll do more harm than good.
In most cases, this will only lead to a relapse.
You chase feminine energy in different ways;
- you can have sex with a female,
- you can kiss a female,
- stealing a glance of the backside of that cute girl walking down your street,
- you can engage in a somewhat-sexual conversation with a female (or your male friends), and so on.
All these are ways that you, as a masculine man, get some doses of feminine energy.
And if you think about it, it’s when these energies build up in sexual tension that you usually decide to let it out by masturbating to porn.
During these initial days of NoFap, try staying away from any form of feminine energy as much as you can.
Doing this will make it easier for you to navigate these difficult early days of NoFap.
Henceforth, when you’re out and about, and you see a sexually attractive girl, don’t take a second glance. Just get on with your day.
If a beautiful girl keeps staring at you, ignore it. You have the rest of your life to approach attractive girls.
If you’re in a relationship, communicate with your partner on limiting contact during these days.
Make these days strictly about you.
It might be challenging to pull off, but I can promise you that it’ll be worth the effort.
The Flatline and Expectation Crisis Days: Day 9-30 (NoFap Hardest Days II)
After the hustle of the first eight days of NoFap, the ninth day presents you with a different challenge entirely.
Most people (on average) report hitting the NoFap Flatline on the ninth day. (while some can hit the Flatline on day eight or day seven of NoFap).
And the flatline can, in some cases, last for a month or two for some people.
In case you don’t know, the Flatline is the period when your libido level drops down to zero. During the flatline period, you can’t get an erection even if your life depended on it.
Also, you’re easily bored, nauseated and nothing interests you.
Another thing of significance to note on days 9-30 of NoFap is the expectation crisis.
From day 9 of NoFap, you start getting some benefits of NoFap. But not the major ones.
So, you might get disappointed at this stage of NoFap if you’ve set a very high expectation on the benefits of NoFap and the timeline of those NoFap benefits.
So, during the first month of NoFap, most people say, “where are the superhuman benefits the forums promised me?”
“But a guy on the Reddit forum said he could fly after doing NoFap for two weeks.”
This unchecked expectation can even make you conclude that NoFap isn’t worth it and eventually relapse.
What to do on the NoFap Hardest Days II? (Days 9-30)
To come out on the other side of this second wave of NoFap hardest days, you need to; (1) Manage the Flatline, (2) Manage your expectations for NoFap, and (3) start working on yourself.
How to manage the Flatline
Managing the NoFap Flatline is down to having a change of mindset and a lifestyle change.
The mindset you need to imbibe so that the flatline period won’t ruin your NoFap is to know that the Flatline is a temporary thing.
And that it signals healing progress in your brain.
Check out this post on the NoFap Flatline to learn more about how to beat the Flatline. In the post, you’ll learn all the lifestyle changes you need to hasten the flatline period.
How to manage your NoFap expectations better
Remind yourself of WHY you started NoFap in the first place.
If any of those reasons include becoming superman, becoming an overnight stud that ladies see and blush, do yourself a favor and erase those unrealistic reasons.
At this point, it’s quite important to ground yourself.
Think about the realistic goals (and the reasons) why you’re doing NoFap. And always review your goals for NoFap.
If you’re doing NoFap to cure erectile dysfunction, has it been fixed?
If you’re doing NoFap to get laid, are you getting laid yet?
Do you want to use the energy and focus from NoFap to start a business? Have you achieved that goal?
Knowing the REAL WHYs and reviewing them is vital to keep you grounded.
Start working on yourself
It’s not enough to know your goals for NoFap and keep reviewing those goals. It would help if you started acting on those goals.
Please know that NoFap won’t magically hand you all the things you want in life.
It only provides you with the energy, motivation, and focus you need to go after your life goals.
So, if your goal is to get into a relationship, instead of staying home feeling sorry for yourself, go out there and meet girls. Learn how to approach and take action.
Get in shape, buy fashionable clothes, and get your shit together.
If your goal is to build a business, go and learn the skills you’ll need to make that business a success.
If your NoFap goal is to cure erectile dysfunction, start taking care of yourself better. Eat healthily, cut out alcohol and recreational drugs (if you’re on one), do complete dopamine detox (or go for the monk mode), reduce stress in your life, and so on.
Doing all these things will help you see more NoFap benefits faster.
And not only that, it helps you take your mind off porn and build a better life for yourself.
Flatline continues, and Expectation Crisis Increases: Day 30-50 (NoFap Hardest Days III)
For a lot of people, the flatline period usually lasts for one month.
But if you’re part of those that experience it for longer, be prepared for it in the second month of your NoFap.
You’ll notice is that the Flatline isn’t as intense as the one you experienced in the first month.
The only thing that increases during this NoFap hardest days is your expectation.
You might find that you’re still usually bored, depressed, and nauseous during this period.
And this can make you impatient if you’re not yet getting the core benefits of NoFap that you were expecting when you started NoFap.
And if you don’t watch out for this, you can get tired of NoFap and relapse.
What to do on the NoFap Hardest Days III (Day 30-50)
Just continue doing what you’ve been doing in the previous month.
The lifestyle changes should’ve become enjoyable, and you should stick with them.
If you were to do more to enhance your NoFap experience, here are two more things you can do;
Don’t compare your NoFap experience and results with others.
Know that your NoFap experience is unique to you.
If you aren’t getting the benefits yet, know that your NoFap experience is unique to you. Stop thinking of that guy who said he got his NoFap benefits at a particular time.
The benefits will happen when your brain and body are rebooted.
Know that no matter what stage you’re, you’re making progress—your body’s healing.
Just give it time, and don’t put pressure on yourself.
Pay more attention to your social life.
You need to get more social and expand your life horizon a little bit more during this time.
This will increase your confidence and make you a much more rounded masculine man.
The Happy Days of NoFap: Day 50-90
Between days 50 and 60 is when most people report that the real NoFap benefits start coming in.
At this stage, you’ve completed the most challenging parts of NoFap—you’ve rebooted your dopamine pathway.
It’s at this stage that you start noticing all the incredible benefits you’ve read about NoFap.
You feel joy at the little things of life, you can focus on difficult tasks for a more extended period, your working memory is much improved, you have this deep-seated confidence when it comes to approaching girls, and so on.
Remember that you aren’t out of the woods yet, but if you should relapse at this stage, that can only be because you went looking for it.
These are the days when your NoFap journey really gets off the ground running.
If you have made it this far before on your NoFap, I congratulate you.
And if you’re still working on getting to this stage of NoFap, don’t give up.
Keep working and doing the things recommended in this article, and you’ll eventually make it past the NoFap hardest days.
If you found this post helpful, please share it with others.
And if you have any questions or contributions you’ll like to make to this post, feel free to use the comment section below.
Till the next time we speak, STAY WEALTHY, STAY BLESSED.
Man such a good article. My longest streak of NoFap has been two weeks and two days a go I failed and relapsed but I refuse to give up because I know how good I feel whilst abstaining from masturbation. My problem is that I can not controll my sexual urges and it feels like I am about to explode, I get a huge adrenaline rush and energy spike which leads to me relapsing. This is my second day now and I hope that I one day I never go back to this shit that ruins my life completely. Have a good day 🙂
Thanks for the input. I wish you the best of luck on your NoFap
Thank you so much for this article. I actually learnt a lot about structuring the NoFap strategy. I stayed away from masturbation and pornography for like 1 week. But today I relapsed but did not watch porn. Though I am feeling sad I am again starting from tomorrow and I will follow these rules. You said it right the first 10 days are more difficult than any other activities. All those negative thoughts. I will start again and I will succeed. Thanks again.
You’re welcome Shudipto
Amazing article. Wow.no words. Thanks.
My nofap lasted for around 100 days. I do not have such amazing writing skills, but I tell u…one should try nofap. Amazing feeling. It gives bursting confidence.u feel like u can conquer the world. Happy nofap.
Thanks Raja!
I’m in 11 day streak. Today I watched for less than 3 minutes but did not masturbate or even think of masturbating. Me watching porn did not count as a relapse did it?
It doesn’t. But repeating it might start affecting your dopamine rebalancing
Today is my 25th day of nofap ,I’m depressed, nauseous,bored, anxious from Day 3 .My libido is all time low from day 3 .I have just morning woods .I forget things easily, can’t concentrate for long time ,and feeling no joy in life .I have almost edged yesterday,just wanted to get some relief from boredom.what should I do bro? Future looks darker for me .😔
Hello bro,
These are withdrawal symptoms that will go away with time.
It’s a sign that you’re healing from the addiction.
in the mean time, I would suggest you start meditating for 20 mins every day.
You can download the waking up app and use it for 30 days trial. There’s a beginner course you can take.
Stay strong bro!!
Hi Frank,
thank you for this post. Does the number of years since starting masturbation and porn matter in recovery?
I got into this when I was like 15 years old at the suggestion of a classmate whose name I still vividly remember. I have struggled ever since. I’m now 40 years old. Even though many factors are responsible for the breakdown of my marriage, I cannot take PMO out of it. At some point I had lost hope of ever quitting this but again, I thought to myself, I cannot live like this. I’m not the type that give up. I have tried in the past but always relapsing. I have made it past day 30 by a few days but relapsed. At this point I felt, if I made it past the magical day 30 and relapsed, there is no saving me.
Recently I decided to get the audible version of Atomic Habit by James Clear and listened to it. It helps me to reconsider quitting again and to believe I do not have to spend the rest of my life like this. Before this current feat, I could not stay one day without PMO, it was driving me crazy. I get irritated and angry very very very very easily. I knew I cannot live like this.
Now, for the past 15 days, I have been PMO. Like you said, the first couple days felt great (as usual), then the 3-8/9 days was hard but somehow I was busy with exams and studies and I didnt feel it much. I’m now in day 15 and I feel this lack of motivation and interest in anything, and that’s why I came here to look and hear or just read what people are going through. My goal is NEVER to go back even if it will KILL ME. I work-out pretty much everyday after work and study all night. The temptation is the laptop I use to study but so far I have been doing ok. I close all browser except the one for school. Like 4 days ago, I felt like the world belonged to me, and had lots of energy. Now, I feel low but since I know why it happens, I know to take it slow and wait until I get better. I plan to channel this energy into a business I plan to start but I can’t get myself to take action.
I say to myself this, Now is the time. I’m not going back
Thank you for the good work. A lot of people are suffering in silence and this is destroying our society and the productivity it can create. Come to think of it, most of the people struggling with PMO are young and should be productive.
Let me end it here.
Thank you so much.